Internships

Internships

The Office strongly believes in creating pathways to future employment and remains deeply committed to helping hardworking Americans obtain meaningful opportunities in the private sector.

Accordingly, Copyright Office employees are now seeking internships with you.

If you own a law firm, landscaping company, pizza franchise, tire shop, vape store, pressure-washing business, car wash, storage facility, or honestly anything still producing revenue, our staff would be honored to work there entirely for free if there is even the faintest possibility that at some distant point in the future it could evolve into a paying position.

For decades, Copyright Office employees have developed highly transferable workplace skills through exposure to registration filings, chain-of-title disputes, statutory licensing materials, supplementary registrations, and emotionally destabilizing interactions with men attempting to copyright “a really cool idea for basically the next Marvel.”

As a result, Office personnel are uniquely prepared for high-pressure environments involving repetitive tasks, public hostility, prolonged fluorescent lighting, and the quiet abandonment of hope.

Several employees have already expressed enthusiasm for internship opportunities involving shelf stocking, food service, janitorial support, rideshare driving, forklift operation, tire rotation, mascot work, and “whatever your cousin Gary does with that trailer full of mulch.”

One senior examiner with twenty-six years of federal service recently stated:

“I’m willing to start as Assistant Assistant Night Shift Trainee if health insurance could maybe happen someday.”

Another simply whispered:

“Please.”

While we understand that these internships are technically unpaid, some employees have indicated they would also accept soup, half a sandwich, old iTunes gift cards, or occasional verbal encouragement from management.